JOKES TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY

THE JOKES ARE ALL FROM THE BOOK TITLED LAUGH LIFE-DAVIDDE ONG
MAYBE RELATED TO LEM?

1.WHAT DO SMART BLONDES AND UFO'S HAVE IN COMMON?
YOU ALWAYS HEAR ABOUT THEM BUT YOU NEVER SEE THEM

2WHY DID THE BLONDE STARE AT THE CAN OF FROZEN ORANGE JUICE?
BECAUSE IT SAID 'CONCENTRATE'

3.A LADY INSERTED AN AD IN CLASSIFIED:"HUSBAND WANTED".NEXT DAY SHE RECEIVED A HUNDRED LETTERS SAYING THE SAME THING "YOU CAN HAVE MINE"

4.YOUNG SON: DAD IS IT TRUE THAT IN SOME PARTS OF AFRICA A MAN DOESN'T KNOW HIS WIFE UNTIL HE MARRIES HER?
DAD:THAT HAPPENS IN EVERY COUNTRY SON

5.DURING A HEATED SPAT OVER FINANCES,THE HUSBAND SAID "WELL IF YOU'D LEARN TO COOK AND WERE WILLING TO CLEAN THE PLACE, WE COULD FIRE THE MAID.THE WIFE FUMING , SHOT BACK . OH YEAH???? WELL IF YOU'D LEARN TO MAKE LOVE , WE COULD FIRE THE CHAFFUER AND THE GARDENER

6.SUCCESS:

A SUCCESSFUL MAN IS ONE WHO MAKES MORE MONEY THAT HIS WIFE CAN SPEND
A SUCCESSFUL WOMEN IS ONE WHO CAN FIND SUCH A MAN


7. HAPPINESS:
TO BE HAPPY WITH A MAN ,YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HIM A LOT AND LOVE HIM A LITTLE
TO BE HAPPY WITH A WOMEN YOU MUST LOVE HER A LOT AND TRY NOT TO UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL

8. THERE WERE TWO INDIANS AND JIM WALKING ALONG TOGETHER IN THE DESERT WHEN,ALL OF A SUDDEN , ONE OF THE INDIANS TOOK OFF AND RAN UP A HILL TO THE MOUTH OF A CAVE.

HE STOPPED AND HOLLERED INTO A CAVE ." WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!" AND THEN LISTENED VERY VERY CLOSELY UNTIL HE HEARD THE ANSWER ," WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!"HE THEN TORE OFF HIS CLOTHES AND RAN INTO THE CAVE

JIM WAS PUZZLED AND ASKED THE OTHER INDIAN WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?WAS THAT INDIAN GOOFY OR SOMETHING ?

NO SAID THE OTHER INDIAN." IT IS MATING TIME FOR US INDIANS AND WHEN YOU SEE A CAVE AND HOLLER " WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!" AND GET AN ANSWER BACK, THAT MEANS SHE IS THERE WAITING FOR YOU.

WELL JUST ABOUT THAT TIME , THE OTHER INDIAN SAW A ANOTHER CAVE.HE TOOK OFF AND RAN UP TO THE CAVE AND STOPPED AND HOLLERED " WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!"WHEN HE HEARD THE RETURN, " WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!"OFF CAME THE CLOTHES AND INTO THE CAVE HE WENT

JIM STARTED RUNNING AROUND THE DESERT LOOKING FOR A CAVE SO HE COULD FIND ONE OF THESE WOMEN THAT THE INDIANS HAD TALKED ABOUT .ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE LOOKED UP AND SAW THIS GREAT BIG CAVE.

AS HE LOOKED IN AMAZEMENT ,HE WAS THINKING " MAN LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT CAVE ITS BIGGER THAN THE ONES THOSE INDIANS FOUND"THERE MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY GREAT IN THIS CAVE

WELL HE WENT UP THE HILL AT SUPER FAST SPEED WITH HOPES OF ECSTASY AND GRANDURE
.HE GOT IN FRONT OF THE CAVE AND HOLLERED , " WOOOOO! WOOOO!WOOOO!"HE WAS TICKLED ALL OVER WHEN HE HEARD THE ANSWERING CALL OF,"WOOOOOOOOOO,WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!.OFF CAME THE CLOTHES AND WITH A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE,HE RACED INTO THE CAVE .

THE NEXT DAY IN THE THE NEWSPAPER , "THE HEADLINES READ "NAKED MAN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN"

*THESE JOKES ARE NOT MEANT TO INSULT ANYONE